(the dragon roars) I mean white, sparkling teeth! SHREK: Because--because he's just marrying you so he can be king! Farquaad chuckles then motions to the bishop to indulge Fiona. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?". As they walk away from the crowd Shrek grabs the torch from a dwarf cheering them on, who refuses to let go. Run! (laughs). Shrek and Fiona both walk off in separate direction. lionel richie lytham st annes. Shrek is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand, talking to himself. SHREK: Does anyone else know where to find him? They never last, do they? Me neither. No, no! FIONA: Mmm. SHREK: (Yelling) No! Puss leaps onto the bed. DONKEY: Really? I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-- well, I don't really like it but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. Nobody else! Before sunset. You know, "Grab your torch and pitchforks." Don't look down. I will have--. Havin' a good time, are ya? By myself, outside. FIONA: You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. She's a loaded pistol who likes pia coladas and getting caught in the rain. Shrek: Just with each other. DONKEY: Do you have a tissue or something? FARQUAAD: PrincessFionashe's perfect. I'm a donkey. Shrek, now disguised as a knight in shining armor walks off further into the castle. Shrek heaves a deep sigh. (bounces the bridge again), SHREK: Yes? SHREK: Well, they're also great in stews. In three Halloween tales, Shrek and his friends tell scary stories, Ginormica and the Monsters fight mutant alien pumpkins, and Shrek battles a ghost. I swear! Fiona smacks her reflection in the water, which splashes water onto Donkey. GUARD: All right. Back there. FIONA: Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea. Donkey falls asleep by the fire outside. Oh, sure! Donkey gasps and makes eye contact with Shrek. SHREK: Yeah, right before they burst into flames! I didn't invite them. Shrek! It breaks free of its ropes and begins to roll. Donkey sniffs the eggs and licks his lips. He gets sprinkled with fairy dust and starts floating upwards. DONKEY: Shrek, wait, wait! Farquaad manically laughs as he walks over to the table. (his nose grows). Donkey escapes deeper into the forest and runs head first into Shrek's backside. Couldn't have been the donkey. Shrek angrily fights back and knocks out a few of the guards, but they are able to subdue him through sheer numbers. DONKEY: Oh, yeah. You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Though a bit startled, she is ecstatic to see her knight-in-shining armor. She begins backing up toward the windmill. Those stairs won't know which way they're goin'. Who knows where this "Farquaad" guy is? Donkey makes ready to run over and pull the lever again but Shrek quickly grabs him by the tail. The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! The Merrymen are left on lying on the ground and Fiona walks away. Fiona walks off, seemingly in a better mood than yesterday. The mirrors flips through each princesses' portrait. There's just me and my swamp. I don't think this is fit for a princess. You thought wrong! Attention allfairy tale things. The crowd gasps at the mention of Lord Farquaad. Or something! Men with prompter cards hold up cards that says 'Revered Silence'. And that's when you say, "I object!". The mice featured in the musical have style and energy, singing together as a trio. "Wanted. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. SHREK: Love me? FIONA: Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out. DONKEY: Please! FIONA: But this isn't right! She hurries over to him. They both shrug at each other. FARQUAAD: Oh! FIONA: II don'tthere's something I have to tell you. Calm down. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? SHREK: (chuckles) You know, you're not exactly what I expected. FIONA: Well that's what they always say and thenthenthen the next thing you know, you're on your back. Shrek and Fiona both try to eat dinner but start crying. DONKEY: Oh, come on, Shrek. (chuckles). (throws one leg at Gingy) You and the rest of that fairy tale trash, poisoning my perfect world (crumbles his other leg into dust). FIONA: Of course, you are. Mirror, mirror on the wall, is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Turn! DONKEY: You know what I think? FIONA: I'm sorry, but it has to come out. I wish I had a step right here. Shrek crashes through the roof of the tallest tower and into Fiona's room. Here I go. There is a montage of their journey. Donkey looks suspiciously over at the large pile of firewood already piled up. With Shrek? SHREK: Oh, no, no, no. FIONA: Sunset?! The beer comes rushing out, knocking the knights down and wetting the ground into mud. Shrek and Donkey step out onto the arena but don't seem to be noticed. You got that kind of "I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me" thing. Shrek snatches the deed out of the hands of a guard and walks away. Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Listen to me! Go on this quest for me, and I'll give you your swamp back. The bed's taken. SHREK: I live in a swamp. DONKEY: "I can't wait to get on the road again. DONKEY: See! When we met, I didn't think you was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre. (He dodges out the way of a group of witches flying on broomsticks). This would be so much easier if I wasn't color-blind! You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Good night. SoWhen an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush. Farquaad's room is is filled with items prepared for his wedding, including crowns and wedding outfits for him and Fiona. And the first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall around my land. He clears his throat and the table is lowered. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. DONKEY: (To his owner) Please, don't turn me in. DONKEY: Hey, now. Fiona and Farquaad are standing at the altar as the priest conducts the ceremony. SHREK: Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. It is fucking amazing he does some rest I supposed, but he doesn't go down one bit, and he screams really really loud. Elsewhere, Shrek spots a light in the window of a tower. Nobody! Hapaya! Hey, what are you doing? Fiona grabs a nearby spiderweb from a tree branch and runs through the field, swinging it around to catch the bugs. Fiona screams in terror as Dragon flies over the boiling lava to get them. FARQUAAD: Oh, this is precious. The whole congregation laughs. DONKEY: What are you asking me for? She thinks I'm a steed. My mouth was open and everything. When he reaches the table we see that he is too short to see above it. Shrek runs inside without catching Donkey, who hits the ground hard. DONKEY: Well, yeah! This doesn't seem to deter his interest. DONKEY: Hey what's your problem Shrek? Yes, do it. Three? Get up! Cakes have layers. GINGERBREAD MAN: Don't tell him anything! No. I was born outside. But, Shrek? DONKEY: Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad? Thank you very much! Fiona stares at her wedding cake, pushing down a figure of Farquaad to show his actual height. Farquaad looks down and pulls the sheet up to cover himself as the covers rise. Well, you know what I like about you, Shrek? I've mastered the stairs. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. He sees several shadows moving and looks around. SHREK: (Annoyed) Oh, that's great. Soft music plays in the background. DONKEY: Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? Fiona turns her attention away from the setting sun. (awkward silence) Can I stay with you? THE CAPTAIN: That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. Princess Fiona? Donkey blushes, causing Fiona to chuckle and Shrek to roll his eyes. Fiona screams as Shrek suddenly smashes the door down with his shoulder, still holding onto her arm. The old woman steps up to the table. You and what army? Fiona grabs hold of the arrow and begins to pull. All right, hop on and hold on tight. After breaking out of the forest, the group arrives onto a small rise where an old, ruined windmill stands. As he walks off biting it, she licks her fingers. He lies on his back. There's no time. He sees the Three Blind Mice on his table. FIONA: I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night. Farquaad proudly tries on his crown. Shrek now has the Big Bad Wolf by the collar and is dragging him to the front door. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Look, there's Bloodnut the Flatulent. Onions have layers. I just-- I just --. Cut to a storybook that reads "And they lived ugly ever afterTHE END". Fiona catches a snake, blows into its mouth, fashions it into a balloon animal and presents it to Shrek. The villager waves his torch in Shrek's face. Take it and go before I change my mind. Fiona smacks Shrek on the back of the head and screams in frustration. FARQUAAD: An ogre and a princess! MIRROR: And last, but certainly not last, bachelorette number three is a fiery redhead from a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by hot boiling lava! An image of the Seven Dwarves flashes on the screen. Shrek: Donkey! Whoa, whoa, whoa. SHREK: She wasn't talking about me? 20% Off with code OUTDOORSALE I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. Shut. SHREK: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? Two! FIONA: "By night one way, by day another." Actually, it's quite good on toast. Shrek and Donkey come out of the field just outside the Duloc parking lot. I'm all alonethere's no one here beside me Shrek is getting ready for dinner. Chirpy music quietly plays from a set of loudspeakers. A large amount of guards run in and grab ahold of Shrek and Fiona. Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him. SHREK: Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location. BISHOP: And so, by the power vested in me BISHOP: I now pronounce you husband and wife DONKEY: Mother Fletcher! I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. DONKEY: You're afraid of the dark, aren't you? That's my princess! FARQUAAD: All right then. All is quiet and Fiona is nowhere to be seen. Fiona looks at Donkey, cloaked in shadows, from up above on a platform. Here's what we know. Blue flower, red thorns Donkey marches off, still chanting, until he is out of earshot. MERRYMEN: That's bad. Transcript A ray of light shines down on a leather-bound storybook. DONKEY: I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. As Shrek and Donkey walk down the tunnel to get into the arena, Donkey hums the Duloc theme song. Have you ever met a person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "Hell no, I don't like no parfait"? MONSIEUR HOOD: Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! Fiona breaks away from Hood, who has his hand around her waist. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves. (Donkey stays silent). DONKEY: Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess! Not my gumdrop buttons! DONKEY: I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look. Shrek jump kicks a knight, and then body slams another. DONKEY: No, I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over a boiling like of lava! Her look turns from nervousness to bemusement, and she awkwardly smiles. -Keep quiet! SHREK: You don't have to tell me anything, princess. FARQUAAD: Down to the last slime-covered toadstool. Back in the clearing, Shrek is laying on the ground facedown, while Fiona stands over him, using both hands to try to remove the arrow. 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